Interventi Blogi di Sam Foxford

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On being the servant-leader in my relationship

The unexpected benefits of surrendering control

Alpha males and the women who love them

Not all men will get it unless you explain

Patience, integrity…and being a little sweet always helps

Girl alpha seeks all man alpha

Too feminine?


My life, my choice

Is she afraid of losing control?

I didn’t go on my date with Freshman Orientation afterall.  She flaked saying she that something came up and she had to go to her hometown.  She tried to move it back for later in the day, but I couldn’t because I already had plans with Army Brat.

My last night in town…

I was hoping I could go out on a high note and get new notches on both of last two nights in town.  But, my second date with Army Brat was earily similar to my second date with Crush.  A lot of making out and stuff, and I got up under the shirt and played with a nipple and then I got a “it’s late, I should get going” type of thing.

And, when she left, I really started thinking.  As my last night in a city that I’ve called home for 6 years was drawing to a close, I couldn’t help but to reflect on my experiences here…

This city made me a man…

I’m going home to my parent’s house.  A place I haven’t lived in since high school.  The creativity on where to f-close chicks is going to be all the more crucial now.

But, even more than that I reflected on the girls I’ve dated and the notches I’ve gotten and of course all of the possible notches I’ve missed out on.

And, I realized something.  Cowgirl, like pretty much all of my notches this year and my whole life actually is average in the looks department.  Not a Hot Chick.

Matter of fact, for the sake of argument, let’s leave the 1-10 scale alone right now and break girls down into just four simple categories – Mud turtles, Average, Hot Average, and Hot Chicks.

(If you want to relate this to the 1-10 scale, just think Mud turtles are 4s or lower, Average are 5′s and 6′s, Hot Average are 7′s and Hot Chicks would be 8′s and up… that’s probably pretty reasonable.)

Now, back to what I was trying to say.  My life’s notches summed up, have majority come from Average chicks, and average chicks who were easy.  They have mainly been lay-ups.  Most of them did not take anywhere close to 7 hours to go from meet to bang, and most of them didn’t shit test me too much or require too much effort on my part.  I’ve gotten them almost entirely based on my looks.  That’s the average chicks – most of my notches.

I’ve fucked a couple Mud turtles in my life, but that’s really just bad experience with internet dating and girls not looking anything like their fucking pictures in real life.  It happened a couple of times and I figured, “hell, I’m already here, I might as well just fuck her and get the notch”.  Has a lot to do with why I’m all about meeting girls in person now and don’t do the internet thing anymore…

I’ve fucked a couple of Hot Average chicks, and those are the chicks I usually wind up fucking for months on end.  The ones I wind up in STR and LTRs with.  I’d put February Fling and My Last Ex in this category.

Then, you have the Hot Chicks.  These are the ones that have basically been unattainable for me.  I’ve had my shots with them here and there, as every chick in my History of Crushes post falls in this category.  These chicks, at least for me, have not been easy lays – obviously, as I haven’t fucked one of them yet.  They’re not unttainable though, when I think and reflect on it, I had at least some kind of a shot with all of the chicks in the History of Crushes post, I just didn’t know how to handle it.  When I blew it with Spaghetti, I thought that was a turning point in my life.  I thought what I needed to do was to get these chicks alone in a room and just be a lot more aggressive with them.  I thought I figured out some sort of secret.  But, that hasn’t actually worked like a charm.

Here is where it gets tricky for me….. the Hot Chick.  Obviously, these are the ones I want the most.  I am capable of getting of them, I know that, but what does it take?   In the past (again, referring to the History of Crushes post), I’ve probably been lucky to have a shot at about one hot chick a year.  But, that’s without working on my game and cold approaching much.  This year, I’ve had a solid shot with four hot chicks – Crush, CuteNewChick, Army Brat and Freshman Orientation.

As Army Brat left my house, I was left with blue balls and a wondering mind…. much the same way Crush always left me.  What would it take to fuck this girl? I mean, clearly, she’s (and I’m referring to both of them here) not completely opposed to the idea – she’s on my bed making out with me.  But then, when I try to escalate, I get, as Rookie would so elegantly put it, “hacksawed” and then the lame “it’s getting late” excuses come out.

The “it’s getting late” excuse is hilarious to me.  I could hang out with a hot chick until 1, 2, 3am on a weeknight and if we’re out and about or playing Wii or whatever, they’ll never bring up the “it’s getting late”, but when I try to escalate, now “it’s getting late, I have to go blah blah blah in the morning”.   “It’s getting late” clearly has nothing to do with the actual time.  It’s simply an excuse.

But, back to my current dilemma, what does it take to bang a Hot Chick?   I honestly don’t know, since I’ve never done it.  I can only go off of speculation here, which only leads to me asking more questions and inquiring about theories.

Which, brings me back to Mystery’s 7 Hour Rule…. maybe it takes 7 hours of comfort to fuck a hot chick?  Maybe Mystery was referring to Hot Chicks when he brought up this rule?    I don’t know…   but, I know CuteNewChick, Crush and Army Brat all would’ve taken longer than 7 hours.  Can’t really speak on how long Fresh Orientation would’ve taken since I didn’t spend much more time with her outside of the initial approach, but I can see her taking longer than 7 hours as well…

Back to Average Chicks for a second, just thinking about the ones I’ve “dated” this year.  Either I fuck them really early on (less than four hours) or I never get a second date with them.  What does that tell me?  That the 7 hour rule doesn’t apply to Average Chicks, they’re either easy or not worth my time….

But, Hot Chicks.  7 hours?  7-10 hours?  Is this what I should be planning for with them?  Back to the Hot Chicks I’ve dated this year, as opposed to my average chicks, I’ve always gotten a second date with my Hot Chicks.  Hmmm…. very interesting stuff here.  Average chick = bang early or no second date.  Hot chick = no bang, but you get a second date.   I’m literally blowing my own mind with this observation.   This doesn’t just apply to the chicks I’ve “dated” this year, but it pretty much applies to all the chicks I’ve dated my whole life.  This goes back to the whole Assanova post about Patience Being Power With Hot Women…

So, now I need to find out how to game the hot chicks….

The other idea I have (and again, no success with these chicks, so take me throwing ideas out with a grain of salt) is the whole push/pull, be a challenge, soft rejection (they all mean about the same thing) idea.   Looking back on my interactions with Hot Chicks, I’ve never really “soft rejected” them.  I probably wasn’t much of a challenge.  They probably all knew that I’d fuck them in heartbeat… they probably never felt like they had to win me over, but that they already had me.   I get the concept.   But, how to implement it?   It’s one thing to push/pull and be a challenge during an approach… but, if Hot Chicks take 7-10 hours to get them into the sack, how do you continue to be a challenge over a 10 hour period?   The implementation is where it becomes harder to me.

I also find it harder to “challenge” Hot Chicks, because in my experience, Hot Chicks are less sexually aggressive.   Cowgirl was rubbing on my leg in Ihop without any kino escalation from me – Hot Chicks don’t tend to do stuff like that.   Also, a 7-10 hour period is generally going to draw out over a few separate dates, so the next question, how do you “appear to be a challenge”, “make her win you over” when you’re the one making plans to hang out with her?   “Let’s go do this and this tomorrow at 8.”  ”Okay.”  I would imagine any chick who knows I’m making time to hang out with her knows I’m interested, and that I’d fuck her…. how do I “make her win me over”?    Maybe, I need to brush up on my push/pull….

And, last, but not least… what’s on my mind, is the date formula.  I’m comfortable approaching in bars and clubs.  (Still need to do more day game – more on that later).  And, I feel like I have a very solid first date formula – I feel like all of my first dates went well this year – going out for drinks with a bounce or two and spanning the date over about 3 hours – real solid.   But, if a Hot Chick take 7-10 hours to bang… I’m going to need a second date and possibly (probably) a 3rd… (maybe even 4th?).

My second date ideas probably aren’t so great.  With Crush I did dinner and a movie at my house, it was cool, but watching a movie leads to cuddling together and not much chance to push/pull or game much.  My second date with Army Brat was watching TV at my place – same problem – not much talking while engaged in watching TV, too much cuddling taking place before sex has occurred, and not enough push/pull.  Second date with CuteNewChick, I was out of ideas, so we just went to a bar again – she didn’t seem to have a problem with it, but I’d feel lame if I kept doing bar dates with chicks.    So, what is a good second date option?  I still don’t know…   A walk in the park?  Grabbing some ice cream?  Playing Wii?  Going for lunch?  Going to a comedy show or other event?

Then, what about the third date?

I honestly don’t even know….

It also sucks that I leave town and move back to my hometown when I basically have two Hot Chicks on the burner right now that I could’ve practice this stuff on more in Army Brat and Freshman Orientation.    So far, I’ve got about 5 hours logged with Army Brat too, another date or two and I’d be in that 7-10 range….

But, now I live in a completely different city and I have to start all over again.

I’m out of my comfort zone again.  I don’t even know any wings down here.  Now, I gotta go out solo and approach more.  I also need to day game more.

I need to take the confidence boost from my recent one-night stand and from the fact that I’ve “dated” four Hot Chicks this year and realize that I’m capable of doing this shit.

I guess now, we’ll see what a new location holds for me.  I’m back in my hometown….

“And the streets say I can’t go back home/ You know when I heard that?   When I was back home...” –  Jay-Z